The Indigo Wombat (indigowombat) wrote in neuropride,
The Indigo Wombat
indigowombat
neuropride

There was a lot I needed to say, and explain. I think I've finally more or less gotten it across. I could be wrong about that, of course. But now that I feel like I've expressed it sufficiently thoroughly and completely, a shift is happening inside. I'm curious to see where it will take me. Probably just on with my work, but in a calmer, more sedate way, now that the initial burst of energy has died down. The enthusiasm and focus of AS can be useful, but pretty intense sometimes, both for me and those around me. It's part of who I am, and it's actually healthy for me, with the brain I have, to honor that part of me, and let it express itself when it needs to. Repressing it can lead to dysfunction, and I'm doing my best to heal from the consequences of that kind of repression over time. Expressing it can be hard, but practice makes perfect, and hopefully next time it'll be a little easier and smoother, and perhaps not so intense for those around me. A lot of the things I have to express are pretty unusual, though, and it's important for me to let that be okay. Some people are going to be uncomfortable with the things I say and do. Some people will be unsettled. But then again, I'm often uncomfortable and unsettled by the words and actions of others, though it's what feels natural to them. As long as it's not actually causing me harm, though, I do my best to use that discomfort to help me reexamine myself and look at things from a different point of view, and that's of great benefit to me, when I can learn from it. It's only fair for me to give others the opportunity to see my point of view, as well; since it's more unusual, it's probably more important to give it voice. That's why I care so much about neuropride. I think the unique perspectives that we have to offer the world are needed, and should not be silenced and lost. Expressed responsibly, yes, but expressed clearly and strongly. That's what I'm aiming for. And I'm getting there, bit by bit, even if the road is a bit uncomfortable every once in a while. I didn't choose this direction to be comfortable. I chose it to adapt to my discomfort, and to help others adapt to their discomfort with me, without disrespecting either myself or them. It's a learning process, for everyone involved. And I'm ready and willing to learn.
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